Recently I went out for coffee with my husband to the nearest coffee chain from my home in order to relax and have our WE time. Out of habit I quickly grabbed the corner seat. I love corners… they give you so much extra space over others, both technically and romantically ;). I told my husband to get a regular cappuccino and a sandwich for me. The queue was quite long as it was a busy hour. I had no other option then to wait for my husband to get our orders. Waiting is what I hate most. To pass the time I started looking around. There were students who have bunk off their classes, couples holding hands, a group of friends talking all nonsense (bringing a smile on my face). And then my eyes got stuck on a pink beauty.
A beautiful little girl wearing a pink dress was sitting beside her mother. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. So I kept gazing at her. She was holding her mother’s hand. Abruptly her mother moved a little, the girl too shifted with her and held the hand more tightly, as the time started passing, she started tightening her grip, leaving her mother in pain, her mother started withdrawing her hand, but the girl was reluctant, the pain started appearing on her mother’s face. The girl realized this she loosened her grip a little, but didn’t leave her hand. The mother has to get something to eat, she needed to get out of this, so she played a trick. She started playing with her daughter by making different faces. The girl slowly released her hand. The mother gave her a spoon to play with and got up to place the order. This view catalyzed my thoughts.
Suddenly I realized this is what happens with our “RELATIONSHIPS”!! Firstly, we try to get into one, then we start enjoying it, but as the time passes we try to bind the person with our strength of love which becomes bondage for the other person, so he/she starts withdrawing and then we start getting nervous, tensed and cling to it like a parasite, leaving no space for breath. Now the relationship starts suffocating both of the people. So who ever realize it first starts playing games by behaving as everything is fine. With this the other person starts getting normal and love starts coming back into the relation. We become happy that now no problem will arise and think of making the relationship much stronger than before. Amongst this phase of void and realization suddenly the relationship leaves us. We are sucked up by the never-ending pain.
So never hold your relationship so tightly, suffocating your partner. Possessiveness is ok to a certain limit, but when it starts bringing hatred and pain in relation then surely you need to change. Never make other people feel as if he/she doing things at the cost of his/her basic freedom. Always give space to the desires of each other. It’s not possible to like each and everything about a person, but that should not hamper or kill the individual interest. Remember, you are first an individual. Don’t let a relation define your identity. It’s well said in order to love someone you need to love yourself selflessly. Love yourself and eventually you will start loving everything around you.
Love is a beautiful feeling. Let’s not give pain in its name. It’s just like rose with which come thorns , you just need to take care that when you pluck the rose the thorn shouldn’t hurt you so much that you start bleeding. The thing I never realized with my conscious mind was shown to me by a toddler subconsciously. This is what Life is all about where no one knows which chapter will turn out which way. By the time I was going through all this my husband appeared with our order. We had a marvelous US time there.