TRAPPED

“The irrational fear of not being found, when trapped in a situation, is one of the most paralyzing fears of all time.”

trapped

Have you ever thought about getting stranded at a place? From where you can see the world, but the world can’t see you. You want to move but you can’t, the situation has engulfed you, and the only solution is to wait, wait for the help to arrive, wait for someone to notice you, wait until someone feels your absence.

I have experienced it. Not a very long time ago, I got stuck in my own house. You must be wondering how can someone get stuck in their own home. My answer is yes, you can. Wait till you read my full story.

One day after dropping my in-laws and my husband for a meditation session after office, I came back home. I unlocked my house and started cleaning up the mess we create in the morning while leaving for office. I realized that I have not picked up the dustbin’s from outside while coming inside the house. I unlocked the gate and started picking up the two dustbins. Before I could even realize, the strong wind current closed the door on my face.

So here I was standing outside my house with no mobile phone, no keys, nothing. And most importantly no friendly neighbors for any help. I kept standing there for almost 5-10 minutes analyzing my situation and understanding what a fool I am, not to put a door stopper before venturing outside the door.

Then a not so brilliant idea struck my mind. I moved towards the staircase that leads to the rooftop of my building. My apartment is on the topmost floor, so I thought maybe I could jump into my balcony and from there I can try opening my balcony door. On reaching the rooftop, I realized that the height differences between two floors in more than 9ft, which is quite high to jump from, for a nonathletic person like me. I started looking for an option to decrease this height; then I saw the awning. Leaping from canopy would reduce the height difference to almost 2.5 to 3.5 ft. So I footed myself on it and jumped into my balcony, nearly spraining my ankle.

Height Differnce between rooftop and awning

Now standing on my porch, I realized that a few days ago my dear husband decided to add a security gate to the sliding doors of my balcony, to enhance the house security for me. Opening this gate without any device, for an amateur thief like me was next to impossible. But I still tried, inserting my hands in the columns gaps between the gate to open the bolted door. I kept banging the door in the hope that maybe the bolt would loosen up due to force, but nothing happened. I kept trying for almost an hour, taking breaks in between. After that, I accepted my situation and decided to wait for my husband to come back from his meditation center.

I sat on the balcony floor amongst dozens of mosquitoes, waiting. Waiting for the situation to change. Waiting for someone, to click the door open. Waiting to hear my husband’s voice. Waiting for life to occur to me. Waiting for the frame to change the color and bring the brightness back. Until then I always considered myself as a loner, I always enjoy my time being alone with myself. But that day I realized the meaning of these line by Wayne Cordeiro “Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul. Isolation is what you crave when you neglect the first.”

I understood how being alone with myself at my chosen time is a like a delicacy, to cherish. While on the other hand the imposed isolation due to the situation, is a total disaster. That day lying on that roof floor I found a new aspect of my personality, that, I am not someone who can live in total loneliness. I need people around me not many but at least one. That person may not talk to me, but the presence itself is so reassuring for me. Also, I realized how even after living my life out of parent’s home for almost ten years, I never decided to take a single seater room or never ventured into the idea of living alone.

I don’t know how many thoughts went through my mind in that span of three and half hours of isolation. But there came a time in my mind when all ideas stopped coming, and my mind went into a blank state of thoughtlessness.

And then the door clicked and there entered my husband. I stood up, dusted up myself, and called out his name. He looked through the balcony door, perplexed and opened the doors for me. I didn’t know what I said to him when he asked me what happened, the only thing I remember is hugging him and crying profusely like a baby. All the despair, anger, frustration and pain got washed away in those tears. And I snuggled close to him, for a very long time.

PS: Have you ever had any such experience in your life. If yes, then do share. Or have you seen or heard someone sharing any such experience, then you can share that too.

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19 thoughts on “TRAPPED

  1. Wow…that was terrifying! I wouldn’t have jumped from the balcony though, I am scared of heights. 😦

    I have no experience of being trapped or lost till now. Though my mother tells me that when I was 3-4 year old back and my father was posted at Ranikhet, I went missing. My mother had gone to the hospital and she expected my siblings to look after me. They were kids themselves so forgot all about me. MAi mumy ko dhoodhne nikal gyi ghar se bilkul mast hoke. Ghar ke bahar wahi tedha medha pahadi rasta, or mai chalte chalte bajar pahunch gyi. When my mom reached home all hell broke loose and the search for the missing girl began. Thankfully a shopkeeper who knew my mom, saw me and asked me to wait for my mom at his shop. And then I was found! 😛

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    1. Yeah truly 😛 now when in hindsight I think about it, I realize that it could have been fatal 😛 surely not going to try again 😀 I don’t know what is this with kids 😛 almost everyone get lost when they are young. Something similar happened to me too when I was that age 😀 I think I should write about it too 😀

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  2. Oh my God, Neerja Di o_O That must have been a little terrifying. I can’t believe you actually jumped from the terrace to your balcony. I would have never done that. Though it was scary, you got a beautiful blog post out of it and I applaud you 😀 I once got lost back in UK, when I was five I think. My parents, brother (who was a baby then) and I went to the town mall and while Mummy and Daddy were in a digital device shop with my brother, I was bored and told them I’ll hang around some rides in the middle of the mall. They told me not to go anywhere and I obliged, but then I thought it was taking too long and ventured off to find my family, when I lost my way. It was traumatising for me while I ran around in circles, before they caught me suddenly and I hugged Mummy tight, so relieved and happy.

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    1. Yeah it was quite an experience 😛 But it gave me lot of perspective and as you said a blog to write about 😀 I think your experience is more terrifying, but I thing kids do that alot. Few months back something similar happened with my nephew in Singapore. You should write about your story someday 🙂 before you forget the essence of your story 🙂

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  3. I can’t believe you managed to get into this state… but I know exactly what you felt. My husband – then fiance – and I somehow got separated at Times Square at around 10:30 in the night – we didn’t have phones and I didn’t even have money. Those 20 minutes have been the most terrifying and when we found each other – that is when I truly understood what getting lost and being found means.

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    1. Yeah sometimes a silly mistake can lead to a terrible mistake. I get you, getting stranded in a different country with no money is terrifying. I think you should write about this experience of yours in detail on your blog. And thank you for taking out time to read the blog 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much buddy 🙂 Actually the act of writing doesn’t take much time, the problem is with making up the mind to start the process. I actually wanted to write some other story, but while going through my unfinished drafts I found this one with just two lines with heading in it. And decided to write it 🙂 I realized I finished writing it in an hour but yeah the prettying up the blog took some other time 🙂

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      1. Haha…You are first blogger who have impressed me with your writing skills.

        Secondly you were the one who have appreciated me for my Hindi Poems….

        You remember I wrote a poem for you too …

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      2. Oh thats a big one 😀 but you were the first one whose Hindi poems I started reading 🙂 I still find them very fascinating 🙂 How can I forget that you wrote a poem for me on my Birthday 🙂 A few days ago I re read it 🙂

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      3. Wow…

        You have been very special to me . I was New bee in town…had no clue what blogging is you have hand holded me ….then and suggested many things….

        Thanks for your kind support…

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      4. Thats a lot to say 🙂 but yeah I understand the first few loyal readers always hold special place 🙂 I am happy that I was of help 🙂

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