Yugen

When the wind keep rushing and the plant slants in the direction of gushing rain, a fog surrounds you. As far as your vision takes you, there is only fog, and beyond it, a world untouched by these tiny droplets. You slowly take your palm out of the window and let it soak the weather. But that is never enough, gradually you take your face out. The lashing rain takes the burning heat away from your body. Relaxing the furrowed brows and turning the corner of your mouth upward. An electric wave of calmness starts enveloping you. Now you can focus on things beyond the heat of the burning summer. You see, the drops fly foxing on the black wires from one transmitter to the other. When you look up at the dark gray sky, you see a blank canvas. You wonder where did the flying beings go. 

Are they hiding beneath some shady surface, or still drenching themselves in the sky’s freedom? When you look out, below your window on an awning, you see a pair of pigeons, watching the rain’s dance.

They both are busy fluttering their wings. They don’t pay any attention to your cooing calls. You get lost once again in the beauty of nature and its various beings. 

Nature always has been an inspiration for writers, especially poets. Famous poets like Robert Frost and WB Yeats have written various poems on the beauty of nature. Nature can turn you into a more thoughtful and kind being. For me, nature has always been a force of calmness to my utter inner chaos. A walk in the woods has always decluttered my thoughts. The grass’s dewiness, the sun’s auburn beauty, and the brightness of the full moon in the sky are the zenith of zen. Yet there are times it so indescribable in words. I, at those times, start envying painters and photographers for capturing it to the nearest perfection. 

Nature has always been a healer. Whenever the inner conundrum drifts you away from self, take shelter in nature, but walk alone. Enjoying solitude while being in laps of nature makes you one with the universe. In the vastness of this world, you find yourself as a speck of dust. This realisation of being nothing makes you braver while strengthening your inner capability to accept the ever-changing real world. 

“I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees.” – Henry David Thoreau

PS: The Japanese word yugen refers to the awareness that the universe is so profound that the emotions we feel when we try to contemplate it are too deep and mysterious to convey. 

Also if you are interested in reading poetry on nature which soothes your soul, check out Nico’s blog. His poetry has always helped me.

Merak

Have you ever felt empty, like you have nothing inside you to share with others? As if all the feelings have left you, and now your heart is a barren land. Today after I had rendezvous with this feeling after a long time. Lately, I have been reading “A Woman Is No Man” by Etaf Rum.

The book is very intense; it invokes so many emotions simultaneously, you feel every emotion of your character; you understand their helplessness, their anger, their pain, and, most importantly, their choices. I have always felt that women writers are more empathetic towards their characters, their understanding, and their capacity to involve the readers in their character’s emotions are far better. Of course, there always exceptions everywhere.

Even though I was around people, when I was finishing the last few pages of the book, today, I felt isolated. I realised my feelings and emotions were very different from the people around me. It somehow filled me with a sense of discomfort and helplessness, making everything much harder. So, I left the cafe with the thought of watching a light movie.

I finally settled on “The Sisterhood of Travelling Pants,” a 2005 movie, about four friends sharing a pair of pants over summer vacation. A fun film to watch with your girlfriends or alone. But something different happened after I finished watching the movie. A mixed emotion wrapped me in its blanket. I felt blank from within like someone has painted my colourful inner canvas with white colour. My insides felt erased, and my heart an empty board.

So I decided not to ditch my night stroll and went out for a quick fifteen-minute walk. For the first five minutes, I didn’t have a sense of real me. But the silence of the night, the coldness of breeze, the swaying of the trees, and the greenness of the grass; started filling me with its drops of abundance.

It felt as if nature understood me more than I know myself. It brought my body in sync with the outer world. Nature, with its kindness, filled my heart with empathy. And suddenly, I realised the rhythm of my breath. The breath is the symbol of our aliveness. It makes us comprehend that we exist, we matter, even though we might get disassociated with ourselves from time to time. It reminds us that with little effort, we can always come back to our centre. With little love, we can always find our Merak.

Note : The Serbian word Merak is a wonderful little word that refers to a feeling of bliss and the sense of oneness with the universe that comes from the simplest of pleasures. It is the pursuit of small, daily pleasures that all add up to a great sense of happiness and fulfilment.

Gulmohar Galore

Walking past the vacant road,
in the blaring light,
of the mighty sun,
I see you.
The flames of fire,
painting the world,
scarlet with its galore,
I see you.
Captured,
in words,
in the strokes,
in the frames,
of mortal beings,
I see you.
Bringing solace,
in the hearts,
of lovers,
I see you.
Giving hope,
to the lost,
giving desire,
to the found,
I see you.
In the arid plains,
you swoon,
like a danseur,
whirling your
green leaves.
I see you.
Sometimes,
the zephyr,
whispers in your ear,
to let it go.
I see you.
Letting the,
the deep red petals,
fall,
from your heart,
in the laps,
of the barren land.
I see you.
Witnessing the untold stories,
under your shade.
I see you.
When your edges,
turn hues of red,
allowing love,
to seep in,
feeding,
the vacant souls,
I see you.

Under the Gulmohar shade

Picture and Words

Some crave mountains,

Others love beaches

None of these are for me

Because I have thing for rivers and trees.

I clicked this picture on a weekend near a lake and while I was sitting by the lakeside, these lines came to me and I wrote them on my notes app. Then yesterday I happen to share this image and quote on my Instagram page. I didn’t thought of sharing it here, but in morning while having my breakfast on my office desk and simultaneously browsing through my Instagram, I saw my school friend’s comment saying that she will be sharing my quote on her page, giving me the due credit. She is trekker and nature enthusiast. I thought when others are sharing my work then why shouldn’t I share it here on my blog. After all, these are my words 😉 Now why I love forest and rivers, is a story for some other day, that I will share some other time.