Comment ca va ?

As I ask the lamest question of the century to you, you purse your lips disapprovingly and whisper within “pas si bien, ma cherie”. And I understand because though you might be well physically or mentally but the chaos and the panic around us is saddening. 

One of my writer friends recently talked about writing condolences every day and how each time it breaks her heart to open up the messaging app and write one. How each day you become more grateful that it’s not you or your immediate family members but at the same time you know it can happen to anyone. 

So many of my friends have lost parents, siblings, or their own lives, and each day you wonder what next. My cousin recently shared a post talking about how never to say nothing could be worse than this because the moment you say that you are allowing the universe to show you the nightmares you never thought you could have. The situation is gruesome and you never realize it until it’s you who is in the situation. I realized an iota of it when I had to make calls asking for a plasma donor for a friend. I would never forget how my heart sank with each No for an answer. Yes the situation is bleak, yes I have cousins and relatives and close friends who are suffering terribly from the pandemic, and yes we all are sad and disoriented at the moment. But this situation of terrible chaos and losses has made me realize how much we need to look deep within for the light.  That except hope there is nothing else that can make us sail through this tough time. 

There has to be light at the end of the dark tunnel and until we find our light we need to keep going ahead. The only thing you can do for people who are suffering is to be there for them, listen to their cries, help in any way you could, make calls on their behalf, provide any kind of help that you could be it monetary or otherwise. Just be more human, kind, and sympathetic than you have ever been. The world needs more light, if you are doing ok then be that light for someone. Pass on good vibes, share happy messages, share calmness of nature, chirping of birds, blooming of flowers, full moon pictures, and poetry on a sky full of stars. 

Nature knows how to heal the burning wounds. Let it do the work, you just be the messenger for it. The strength of human bonds lies in compassion, where we turn inwards and gather the light from within, molding our common suffering into a hopeful future. 

“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering ‘it will be happier’…” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

Anecdote 1 !!

Yesterday, over a cup of tea, my mom told me an anecdote. Something strange happened to one of her friends. A few months ago, she lost her sister to cancer, and within two days, her brother in law also died. After his wife passed away, he refused to eat and drink anything and eventually succumbed to dehydration. By the time help arrived and they took him to the hospital, he was already dead.

The story made me wonder, is it possible to die of heartache. Did the man die because of the loss of love or loneliness? Or was it fear of being alone for the rest of his life? Can you turn this lonely in two days? Does old age turn your heart a bit weaker, that losing someone can lead you to death?

And then, there is this Indian view of things on everything, where they proclaim couples who die naturally in a very short span of each other have an eternal bond. They say such a pair have true love and can’t bear the separation. They are declared as soulmates, leading them to leave their bodies almost together to rejoin each other in heaven.

I, on the other hand, have questions regarding this theory of love. I right now don’t believe someone could die of a love loss. I mean, if you start boozing or taking drugs in sadness to a level which can lead to death, then that’s another thing. There was a time when I was naive enough to believe in death’s theory due to love. Right now, I know it can turn you sad, make you feel like you are dying but believe me, you will not break. I have seen all kinds of people come out of it. It might turn you into a poet or painter or a lyricist; after all, there are artists whose first work came out of a heartbreak. And then there are established artists who create masterpieces from their losses.

There is one thing I truly believe in that love loss changes you as a person; something within you turns off like a switch which no amount of happiness could ever switch back on. Things might change, people might find love again, but the loss always leaves a scar, however small it might be. And from time to time, when we are alone, we dig deep inside to look at that scar. We try to rub, touch and feel the spot, sometimes to relive the moments and sometimes to feel the pain.

Love loss is not about losing a lover; love loss is about losing anyone you loved. It can be your friend, your pet, your child, or your parent. I know enough people who have lost someone very dear at a younger age, and they still carry that pain inside them. The void never gets filled. There comes the point where people even forget the face of the person they are missing, but they never forget the gamut of emotions the memories evoke in them.

Eventually, the memories dim, and you have to dust them up to catch up with the precious fragments. If you ever truly loved someone, the vestiges remain. Even an Alzheimer’s patient in the wake of consciousness could recall some precious ones.

“Love never get lost; it remains hidden in the labyrinth of human emotions.”

On another note, I am sharing a beautiful art, which came out of someone’s loss.

PS : Maroon 5 served tribute to their late manager Jordan Feldstein, who died unexpectedly in December 2017 from a pulmonary embolism with this beautiful song, Memories.