Lying on my black couch I peek at your bright face I see you Blushing, with love The love You are holding Inside your mighty little heart For the one you love. It reminds me of our old days, Your tapping on my window, My coming out in the balcony, To look at your pretty face. Late nights, countless talks, And sharing everything Under the same sky, You have been my companion in my lonely nights, You still bring the warmth to my little heart, but when I see others proclaiming you putting your mesmerizing pictures out I feel sad, As none of them, Share their story, It is like putting, Your half heart out for someone. You can never love, Anyone, anyone Half-heartedly, And if you do, then I pity you, Because love means Giving all of you away, to that someone. I wish that the one you love, Will let the words, Bleed, To declare, Their love, For You.
I was standing tall, spreading light, on the dark streets, when you smiled at me, from down below. A dandelion, so bright and green, with the hue of yellow, in between. Slithering up to me, to say a quick hello, yes, that’s what you said, but then you never left me, crawling deep inside me, engulfing my whole existence. The seasons came, your presence changed, from orangish-red to shades of dark brown. But you stayed, even when you knew you were dying, with me. Our union was unusual, one living and other a non-living, sharing things beyond this realm. The passerby’s pitied us, Our friends called us fools, But that’s how we were, Two simpletons together, Unable to untangle themselves, from the unknown bond. Believing that, in another world, beyond the right and wrongs, their togetherness holds, a beautiful meaning.
Dreams… Dreams, yours and mine, caught on the streets, with the feathery fairies web, holding the bad daemons, letting the brightness of thoughts, pass through it, taking care of the, sleeping beauty below.
I spent this New Year’s Day by going out shopping with my family, by family I mean all the ladies in the house, there are four of us 😀 with four kids tucked with us and one guy(my brother in law) to drive us around and take care of kids when we are engrossed in our tasks 😉
As we were browsing through the shops, my three little nephews started whining about shopping and how they were getting bored with us. So we decided to drop them all in the Gaming Zone while we’re shopping. After doing all the shopping when we reached to collect them, they weren’t ready to come out. Then my seven-year-old nephew very smartly tucked the card inside my pocket and asked me to have a dual with him in the basketball throwing game. After one game, my sister in law also joined me, so now it was me and my sis in law who were competing in the game. It was so much fun, and we were so engrossed in it, that it was us now, who has to be dragged out, of it.
While returning home, I was back down the memory lane of my first visit to a gaming zone. I was twenty-one and in my first year of my master’s degree, when I visited my aunt in Delhi for a few weeks during my first winter break. My nine-year-old cousin was invited to a friends party which was taking place in a gaming parlor. My aunt was invited too, so if she attended the party than I would have been left alone at home. My aunt persuaded me to accompany her to the party by luring me to wear the new clothes we two have bought together. Parading myself in a newly purchased black jacket and red sweatshirt, I joined the kid’s party in Fun Zone(name of the gaming parlor). As we entered there, my cousin ran, leaving my hand and joined his friends who were already playing. The cacophony of the place took me by surprise, and all I can see was a plethora of kids running everywhere with their ticket collection. To say that the energy was infectious would be an understatement.
See I am a real 90’s Indian kid, wherein in the name of gaming parlor I have seen a big arcade machine with two huge joysticks for controlling the movement of the characters in the game. We use to pay two rupees for half an hour of play time. I still remember I was six years old when I sneaked out with my brother on one of his such adventure. I lent him two rupee coin from my piggy bank so that he would take me with him. The parlor was in the next lane to our house. Winter has just begun, my grandfather was back in town for his winter hiatus with us. It was around 4 pm; mom was busy preparing evening tea for grandpa when stealthily we left the house. The video game parlor was full of young boys and teenage kids, where they were yelling and freely cussing each other. My brother who was holding my hand till then felt a bit embarrassed by the act and let it go. He then asked me to stand beside him and watch him play, Street Fighter. He dropped the two rupee coin in the slot, then the came ear splitting noise from the machine, starting the game. I loved watching the game and asked my brother to give me the keys for a few minutes to which he happily obliged, which was quite surprising knowing his selfish nature. Holding those giant sticks, I felt the powerful controlling fate of those fighters. The shooting up of dopamines can be addictive at times, and it was my first time feeling so much excitement just out of a game.
As the excitement went up, we forgot about time, until the parlor guy poked us to leave. Dreading my mom’s fury, my brother left me at the door and ran away to play with his friends in the park. I hesitantly went inside, and my mom was sitting on the porch waiting for us, as soon as she saw me her first reaction was of relief, which swiftly changed from grave to glowering. To save myself from her ire, I told her the whole story causing big trouble for my big brother. So by the time he came back, his concerns were already raised to his Royal Highness aka daddy, which in turn led him being getting grounded for a month. And because of the fiasco, he never retook me with him for any of his adventures.
So after ages, I landed up in a Video parlor by courtesy of my little cousin who left me stranded with so many colorful funny sounding machines. I was still figuring out those machines when the mother of the birthday boy approached me and handed me the card. It took me a while to understand how everything worked, but the moment I figured it out, I felt my eureka moment. Since then I never miss an opportunity when it comes to gaming zones.
In fact, on my 25th Birthday, my brother and my sister in law took me to a gaming parlor for celebration. I was engaged by then, soon to be married and my brother decided that its good that we spent some time being kids again. The funny thing is my husband is just like me when it comes to gaming parlors, not missing a chance to be there and enjoy being a child again.
PS: Tell me your gaming parlor story, how old were you when you first visited it and how was your experience. Do you love going to gaming zones, how often do you go? Let’s talk about gaming parlors in the comment section.
Hola People 🙂 Wishing you all A Very Happy and Prosperous New Year 🙂 🙂 . I hope that you all had a great vacation and enjoyed your time off with family and friends. I am considering that 2019 is being good to you, till now.
As you all know I read a great deal in 2018. Yes I finished 60 books in a year 😉 I am quite proud of myself for doing it. Like every year I wanted to share by Best Reads List. Check it out 🙂
A man called Ove
Born to Run
Sapiens: A Brief History of HumanKind
Bird by Bird : Some Instructions on Writing and Life. The full review is here.
So here is the thing guys if you don’t want to hear my whining and ranting, you better skip this post. And if you can afford it, then you can make yourself comfortable on my red couch. Now that you have made yourself comfortable, I will continue with my ranting.
Everything was calm and cool till 24th December. I had a surprise waiting for me at my office desk, two goofy awards 😉 Guess what these people gave me 😀 See for yourself 😉
I don’t mind them 😀 after all they look beautiful 😉 I am glad I have a high Volume 😉 courtesy my father’s genes and all those teenage years spent as a debater 😀
And yes I like my space and hate it when anyone invades my office space 😉 I hate people who take my things without my permission, I don’t mind sharing but at least ask once. I am someone whose desk and drawers are full of stuff from food items to necessary tools like a cutter or a knife. So people often come up to me for opening their online shopping packages 😛 That’s ok, but what about that guy who broke my mug while searching the cutter on my desk and didn’t even apologized 😦 He walked off as nothing happened. Now you can’t blame me for rolling my eyes and calling him out for his mistake. If you think I am wrong, then you are not my kind of person 😛 , and in real life, we could never be friends 😦
As said 24th Dec daytime was all good, we had a half day at the office, and I was home by 1.30 pm 😛 I slept till late evening 😀 then went out for a run 🙂 But by the time night arrived I realized the slight itching in my throat, and then I watched some mushy stuff, so my messed up body didn’t go down well with my even more messed up mind. I ended up having a severe headache.
Now came 25th December, the Christmas Day, when everyone was busy posting pictures with Christmas tree I was dealing with a running nose, sore throat, and fever 😦 . The worst thing about having the flu is, it doesn’t seem dangerous, people don’t care much when you say you have flu, but in reality, it hurts, I was dragging my body like a dead soul. Now the bigger issue was we had planned deep cleaning at our house that day. Now if you haven’t done that yet, let me tell you it is a lot of work, even if you have hired someone to do it for you. Dragging stuff from one room to another I lost it by the time it was over. The only good thing that happened that day was a cleaned house and a shared cup of tea with my cleaning lady. At night when I dragged myself to cook dinner, I got a message on WhatsApp from L on G7 wishing us Merry Christmas and where he shared some dialogue from the movie Ghajini, it’s then I decided to the write my Christmas post.
I ended up writing this post by 2 am, which is not a good idea if you are sick and you have to go to the office the next day. With my sleep deprived cold ridden body I reached office and realized half of the people were still on vacation. I must tell you this not a good feeling when you are dragging yourself like a zombie, whole day. Day 2 of cold is much worse than day one its here I start craving for my mommy. Yes, I am a woman, but I can still desire some mommy care. Every time I am sick, I feel like running home and sleeping in my mom’s lap.
I was whining in office, how having flu had sucked the life out of me when one of my colleagues told me that my cold driven voice sounds quite, ahem seductive. I laughed and told him he is not the first guy who has said that to me. My usual voice is high pitched, so when cold captures my body, my voice becomes hoarser, and my style of speaking become more subtle. By the end of Day 2, I reached home and ordered my husband to make a decoction for both of us, as I was the one who brought medicines from the pharmacy. The poor soul is also suffering from flu 😦 and we still don’t know who brought the virus 😛
While I was reading my novel and sipping the decoction, my friend G called asking about my new year plans, and I told her that I would be spending time with my family this year. I asked her about her migraine which she reported in the morning on G7, and she asked about my weird voice 😛 See same voice sounds strange to girls 😉 I told her about my flu and how D made the decoction for me. She started praising D saying he is the most caring husband she has ever seen and started complaining about her husband, who doesn’t work at all. I had to calm her down and bring this to her notice that D like her husband doesn’t know how to cook 😀 , so he helps me by doing other small stuff 😉
By the time G ended our call, it was time to make dinner. I kept telling D that if I had the broomstick or flu powder, I would have disappeared by now to see mommy dearest. Alas! Life is not that magical, and we are muggles, not wizards 😦
After spending another night coughing and sneezing, I decided to give a call to my dad, this morning. If not physically, I can still be with mom in the virtual world. The funny thing is as soon as Dad picked up the phone, the first thing he said: “You have a cold.” I said “hmmm,” and the next question was “From how many days?”. I knew he would bombard me with questions, so I diverted the topic and asked him about the task that I have assigned him. Now that he has retired, we all give him work 😛 He said: “He hadn’t done it, yet and he will do it, today.” I then asked about Mom, and the next words he said was “She is out to her friend’s party.” I was like whaaaaat?? Why these old women have parties in the daytime 😛 I tell you since my dad has retired, my mom has become a free bird, whenever I call home, half of the time she out somewhere 😀 leaving my poor dad to take care of the house.It feels like as if she has retired from being our mother 😀 But I am happy for her too, and it’s from her I learn that it’s never too late to enjoy your life. And I also know that I will keep getting calls from dad and mom until I recover, that’s how parents are, always worrying about their kids.
The day is almost over for me in office, and I will be leaving for home in an hour, will be on vacation till 2nd January. My family members have just arrived at my sister in laws place, and I would be seeing them soon, so I think maybe family time will cure my flu 😀 . But still, this is not how I wanted to kick off my vacation time 😦
Thats for the day guys, You can go now and enjoy your vacation 😀 This is probably my last post of the year 😀 Catch you all, in 2019.
Just adding this last image which speaks my heart out 😛
“In this season of warmth, Comes the memory of our year twentieth. Filled with joy and laughter, Making us believe this shall remain after. Where every moment was brighter than the last, That’s how I remember our glorious past.”
All the Christmas that I have witnessed so far in my life, the one I celebrated in 2008, stands out clearly in my memory. I was in my Graduation final year living in Gurgaon with a most fantastic set of friends one can ever have. We all knew that this would be our last holiday season with each other, we decided to have fun instead of lazing around in our college campus. My friend L, who is a movie buff, decided that we should watch the upcoming movie Gajini, first-day first show. Now the thing was that this movie was Aamir Khan movie and everyone wanted to see it. Hence there were pre-booking of the tickets. L who was ever confident in his skills of getting tickets kept telling us to have faith in him. The funny thing about L is his overtly optimistic attitude, and we knew every group has its ticket except us. So I decided that the task should be given to H who is a go-getter and get things done. I called up H whining about the inefficiency of L in getting us the tickets and asking him to do the task. It was so last minute that though we ended up with seven tickets for our group, the theatre which we got was outside the city.
As per our itinerary, we decided first to visit the church in the city and then watch the movie. Anyone who has ever lived in Northern India knows what winter mornings look like in there. Dragging our bodies out of bed and layering ourselves with the woollen clothing we ventured together on this trip. L and G were day scholars while the rest of us were living in the hostel campus, we decided to meet both of them at the nearest bus station. G being G was way before time, by the time we reached there she has turned into fire throwing dragon and L like always was putting water on her anger. After throwing a few cuss words at all of us, she decided to calm down. Its then we took an auto and went to the church. G’s schooling was from convent school, so she knew her way around church and masses while the rest of us were clueless. We followed her around like little puppies. She bought candles for us; we lighted our candles outside as the inside was already overflowing with candles. Looked around the church, said a quick prayer and headed out. I wanted to see what a church mass looks like on a Christmas Day, but as we were short on time, we ditched the idea.
We took a bus from outside the church to reach the movie theatre. It was in a newly built mall where the only thing that was open was this theatre. As soon as we entered the theater, we saw a bunch of guys in the gajini haircut and wearing a shirt and vest. For more clarity, I will add the picture of both here.
I must say the Sanjay Singhania look is the only Aamir look that worked for me, the only time I found him handsome. We were shocked to see that people could be this crazy about an actor to get such a weird haircut.
We finally entered the theater, fought for seats, this was always an issue who will sit with whom, L who was movie crier like me always sat far away from me. So one side I had M, and on another hand, I had H to entertain me between the scenes. I must tell you I have a problem of talking between the scenes if I like something I will nudge the person next to me to see their reaction. Of course, this has stopped after I got married because my husband watches a movie with a pin drop of silence, in fact, he doesn’t even let me eat popcorn while watching a movie.
I will not write about the movie, as most of the people especially all Indians must have seen it, if not then you should watch it. The thing that makes this day a memorable one is the fact that all of us watched this movie in utter silence and when the film finished we were still in total silence. No one spoke anything, with a heavy heart we pulled ourselves out of the theater, hired an autorickshaw and sat silently for the next 15 minutes. Its then H said, “Itna sarnata kyu hai Bhai” (Bro, why everyone is so lulled). We all laughed together and then one by one we all shared that the scene where the actress gets hit by a rod, a tear rolled down our eye.
The thing that made me sad was that she died without knowing the true identity of the actor. This movie holds a special place in my heart due to several reasons. First this was the first tragic movie we ever saw as a group; otherwise, we always went for comedies or action thriller. Secondly this was the first time I ever cried seeing a romantic movie; otherwise, romance doesn’t make me sad, until its tragic. Third, this was the first time I celebrated Christmas Day.
We all felt uneasy for so many days while discussing this movie and its scenes. The film has beautiful songs in it, but the one that stands out for me is this one.
The lyrics are so meaningful that it melts your heart. I always wished that someone will dedicate this song for me someday, I think all of us did in our group 😛 But then no one did, in fact, I recently I asked my husband that would he mind dedicating this song to me 😀 After all he should feel lucky to have me in his life 😉
I want to write much more about us, but then words wouldn’t be enough to justify my feelings for this gang of mine. It was my first ever group, a group which made me value friendship and the love you share with your friends. It is the only WhatsApp group where I am an active member. It’s here where I go when I feel low, it’s here that we still find the past so funny and hilarious. It’s here we talk about the silly stupid crushes and all in between our college life.
We all are in different stages of life, most of our married except H and I think he doesn’t even plan to 😛 Some of us have kids others are still enjoying being happy :D, but we always find a way back to each other. We haven’t seen each other as a group from the last five years except me, M and G always end up meeting somehow once a year, but yet all of us are connected by what we shared once. After all, it’s not easy to keep the 12 years of friendship going without any fight amongst in the group.
So L, H, M, G,B, and P you guys are one of the best things that ever happened to me. I cherish every minute of our friendship and love, and I still read our last letters to each other 😀
PS for my friends: I might have mixed up a few things, so guys if you are reading this blog and you feel I have messed up the sequence of events then I can’t help it. After all the writer has the last say 😉
PPS: L we don’t have any picture where its just 7 of us, all thanks to you 😛 . The magnanimous one 😀 So whenever we meet next time its your duty to click a G-7 picture 😉
What about the what if's, That exists in your mind and heart. The mind can still rationalize it, but what about this heart of yours, which thinks of all the probabilities that could have changed the course. The what if that makes you think, that all the pain you have endured, could have become the peach blossoms of bliss. But it doesn't happen that way. And you are left with the what if again. The tears of loss that you shed now, could have become the pearls of joy, Alas, it didn't go your way. People say time heals everything, but what if it doesn't, and you are left with another what if again. There are things you can't undo, like the threads which once get untangled Are hard to be loosened again. Or to find the pair of fingers that fits perfectly in your hand. What if, if you never get over with this what if, then what will you do, with this pain-ridden heart of yours. As the night darkens its mood, bringing a strange kind of loneliness in your heart, you think about the chaos that these what if's are causing. Making your wrenching heart go numb, turning you into a person so dumb, making you wonder about the what if's of the what if's.